The Age of Ego

Balancing Society and Self

Hello from the New Jersey Turnpike! I'm on my way down to D.C. to visit family and thought I’d write amidst the quiet magic of a nighttime bus ride.

One of the nice things about being on the road is that it briefly gets you away from the chaos of everyday life. Lately, societal discourse has had me feeling a little lost, or as the French say, “largué,” like I’ve been dumped at sea by a fast-moving cargo ship.

Trying to keep up with what's in vogue sometimes feels like perpetually reliving day one of a new job: everyone is nodding along to a cryptic language that seems to change by the minute. The catch, of course, is that nobody else really gets it either. In a sense, everyone else is speaking their own language, with their own individual interpretations of memes and current events. Ultimately, only the all-powerful algorithm can make any sense of it all, although at the basest level possible, by probing everyone’s limbic systems with near-infinite digital dopamine receptors.

The other day, I overheard two cyclists passing by on a mountain trail. "I'm working on being more confident in myself and asking for things more aggressively," said one, as the other murmured approvingly. It’s probably sound, healthy advice in an age in which we are increasingly confined to echoing digital chambers. But to my European sensitivities, it felt a little sad and unfortunate that this seems to have become the status quo.

I see algorithms as both a symptom and driver of this modern ethos of individualism, which dictates that every single one of our needs is one worthy of being voiced. There’s a case to be made that this can be quite efficient: that by being fully transparent about our wishes, we create the conditions for optimal information exchange, leading to better outcomes for all.

But sometimes acquiescence is positive-sum, even as it comes at a small and silent personal cost, in that it spares bandwidth for others to do more important work. I would argue that a core and often under-appreciated part of being a “social animal” — the oft-cited key to our evolutionary success — is in fact not asking for too much, especially in times of scarcity. Modern society was built by generations of meek and humble masses who most of the time simply went along with their lot in life, a lot that was often unimaginably worse than the luxuries we enjoy today. If they could take life in stride, why can't we?

But maybe that’s a bit of an old-fashioned thing to say, and fails to generalize to the heavily parametrized, scrutinized, and optimized information age we live in. Nowadays, actively signaling our needs through the cacophonous noise might be the only way to ever catch a break. Something about that rings true as well.

So let’s come up with a novel framework instead. Here’s what I propose: in the spirit of Marx, with every need we signal, let’s also signal our ability to help. It’s okay to ask more aggressively for things if one volunteers more aggressively too. And since that is me asking something of everyone else, allow me to live by my words:

Let me help you with something! If you have writings in need of proofreading, code in need of debugging, or data problems in need of solving, don't hesitate one second, send them my way! I will be your ChatGPT. (Unfortunately for my career prospects, those are probably the areas where I can most be of service, although I'll gladly help with anything else folks can think of…)

And in the meantime, see y’all next Sunday!